How does your discourse influence your perception? (Book Summary, Part Three)

In the previous part, we discussed the importance of nonverbal cues. Nonverbal cues are the powerful visual signals humans send to one another. They influence how words are understood, either enhancing or detracting from their meaning.

In this blog post, we’re going to discuss verbal cues. Verbal cues are the words you use, and they can signal warmth, competence, and charisma just as much as nonverbal cues.

From Vanessa’s website, Science of People

The Vocal Cues

Your voice is a powerful instrument. Are you speaking with warmth and enthusiasm? Or are you monotone and lifeless? Pay attention to your tone, pace, and volume to ensure your voice signals your emotions adequately.

Let’s go through the vocal cues in detail.

Charisma Verbal Cues

Emotion

Definition: Emotions are conveyed by vocal variety, which includes tone, volume, pace, syntax, and cadence.

When to Use Emotion:

• When you want to sound interesting and capture people’s attention.

When NOT to Use Emotion:

• When you do not want to seem overeager or over the top.

Confidence

Definition: A confident pitch is the lowest pitch you can employ comfortably, and when you use it, you are perceived as more powerful.

When to Use Confidence:

• When you want to be taken seriously.

When NOT to Use Confidence:

• When you feel uncomfortable using a deep pitch.

Breath

Definition: Breath is a vocal cue that can be used to prevent vocal fry, increase volume, think, and feel more confident. Add a little pause between sentences to literally catch your breath.

When to Use Breath:

• When you want to eliminate vocal fry.

When NOT to Use Breath:

• When your vocal cords are overly relaxed.

Expansiveness

Definition: Expansiveness is a vocal cue characterized by a strong, confident vocal demeanour that persuades others because it signals that speakers strongly endorse their own message.

When to Use Expansiveness:

• When you want to persuade others.

When NOT to Use Expansiveness:

• When you want to be perceived as unconfident in your message.

Channelling

Definition: Channelling is a vocal cue that uses the visualization of a speaking role model to improve public speaking.

When to Use Channelling:

• When you want to improve your eye contact, vocal inflection, volume, and hand gestures.

When NOT to Use Channelling:

• When you do not have a speaking role model.

Warmth Verbal Cues

Happy Hello

Definition: A happy hello is when you say “hello” while thinking of something that makes you happy and wearing an authentic smile.

When to Use a Happy Hello:

• When you want to sound more charismatic.

When NOT to Use a Happy Hello:

• When you are not in a good mood.

Warm-ups

Definition: Warm-ups are phrases that signal delightedness to another person.

When to Use Warm-ups:

• When you want to welcome someone with reassurance and belonging.
• When you recognize the person calling you.

When NOT to Use Warm-ups:

• When you do not want the person to feel welcomed.

Vocal Variety

Definition: Vocal variety is a vocal cue that communicates emotions, moods, and attitudes to others.

When to Use Vocal Variety:

• When you want to sound interesting.

When NOT to Use Vocal Variety:

• When you do not want to sound overeager.

Vocal Invitations

Definition: Vocal invitations are when you use your voice to include, invite, affirm, and welcome others.

When to Use Vocal Invitations:

• When you want to encourage someone to keep talking.
• When you want to show agreement.
• When you want to demonstrate interest.
• When you want to show you’re listening.

When NOT to Use Vocal Invitations:

• When you do not want the person to feel welcome.

Mirroring

Definition: Mirroring is a vocal cue that subtly mirrors someone else’s sounds, words, or vocal invitations.

When to Use Mirroring:

• When you want to amplify your signals and sync up with the other person.

When NOT to Use Mirroring:

• When you do not want to come across as creepy.

Competence Verbal Cues

Low Tone

Definition: When we use our lowest comfortable pitch, we project confidence.

When to Use a Low Tone:

• When you want to project confidence and professionalism.

When NOT to Use a Low Tone:

• When your voice pitch is unnaturally low.

Volume Control

Definition: Volume is a critical aspect of power because it takes breath and expansiveness to be loud.

When to Use Volume Control:

• When you want to highlight something.
• When you want to show excitement.
• When you want to share secret information.

When NOT to Use Volume Control:

• When you do not want to be perceived as over the top.

Pausing

Definition: Short pauses are essential for processing information.

When to Use Pausing:

• When you want to be seen as competent and confident.
• When you want to highlight bad behaviour.

When NOT to Use Pausing:

• When you do not want to hurt comprehension.

Danger Zone Verbal Cues

Question Inflection

Definition: A question inflection is when you raise your voice pitch at the end of a sentence as if you are asking a question.

When to Use a Question Inflection:

• When you want to ask a question or to invite less confidence.

When NOT to Use a Question Inflection:

• When you want to project confidence, have a strong presence, or give a statement.

Vocal Fry

Definition: A vocal fry is when your voice pitch cracks, creaks, and sounds raspy at the end of a sentence because you are speaking without enough breath.

When to Use Vocal Fry:

• When you want to signal anxiety and undermine your presence and message.

When NOT to Use Vocal Fry:

• When you want to be taken seriously, project confidence, or sound competent.

Vocal Denial

Definition: A vocal denial is a vocal cue that shows dislike, disagreement, and disgust in a word or sound.

When to Use Vocal Denial:

• When you want to discourage people or subtly let someone know you don’t agree with them.

When NOT to Use Vocal Denial:

• When you want to build rapport with someone.

The Verbal Cues

This is about your word choice and how you structure your sentences. The icebreaker expressions you write in an email, and the words used to say farewell to colleagues in the office have direct impact on that charismatic expression.

Vanessa has separated the Verbal cues into five categories which then have their own charisma charts:

• Openers
• Closers
• Presentations
• Icebreakers
• Compliments

Rather than a have a list of cues for each, Vanessa provides a list of examples for warmth, competence, and charisma on each category.

Openers

Let’s start out the Verbal cues with openers. These work both for conversations and written form.

Which of these will you use in your conversations going forward?

Closers

How do you close written conversations?

Be charismatic even when closing out. Remember, it’s not just the last impression the other person gets of you — it’s also a lasting impression.

Presentations

How do you balance during your presentations?

Vary your cues, even go so far as to count how many of each you use. Ensure you focus how you want to come across to the audience.

Icebreakers

Vanessa also writes a list of icebreakers. Think if you’re at the water cooler with a colleague, or even waiting to start a meeting.

It’s important to match the other person’s energy. Remember:

Warm people seek inspiration. Competent people seek information.

Compliments

How do you approach other people with compliments?

Much like the icebreakers, make sure to match the person’s energy. If you’re unsure where they fall, read through the last five emails or messages they’ve sent and count the number of warmth and competence cues.

The Imagery Cues

The words you choose paint pictures in your listener’s mind. Use language that evokes emotions in your listeners with metaphors and vivid language. You want your speech to resonate on a deeper level to truly connect with others.

For this last category, Vanessa provides a list of cues and underlying principles. These are not separated by warmth, competence, and charisma, rather use them as you see fit.

Fonts

Research has found that

• People find satirical content as funnier and angrier if written in Times New Roman.
• In comparison, Arial is not funny
• All caps lowers comprehension.
• If you want to spark creativity for your readers, make it look pretty. Yes, really. Creativity improves when text is optimized for aesthetic appeal because it reduces activation in our frowning muscles.
• Comic Sans is good for memory. Researchers asked participants to read a story about a fictional alien creature. They remembered more when the story was printed in Comic Sans compared to Arial or Bodoni fonts.

Images That Inspire

Bear in mind a few visual elements to enhance your charisma:

• Metaphors
• Facial expressions
• Background on video calls
• Images used in presentations
• Image cues to support your brand or message
• Hidden visual cues such as your phone wallpaper can subconsciously cue you toward the right energy

Ultimately, use visual cues to attract the right kind of attention.

Your Nonverbal Brand

Use visual cues to signal values, culture, and personality.

For example during a presentation, gesture with the right hand when presenting facts, and with the left hand to recall memories. This will subconsciously shift the audience’s perception whenever you switch between competence and warmth based on your hand movements.

Colours

How colours influence perception:

• Red inspires action. Use it wisely.
• Blue is a great colour for triggering calm, productivity, and trust.
• Green means go.
• Yellow is like sunshine — it makes us feel warm and lovely, but too much and you get a sunburn.

Unconscious Bias

Finally, we might also fight societal bias. That is the nature of things. Some situations might force you to deliver even better results due gender bias, others might have racial bias interference. It can even be a bias due to attractiveness.

The good news is that research shows these bias can be malleable and take conscious efforts to minimise their impact. Namely, keep in mind two factors:

• Learn what unconscious bias might work against you — gender, race, religion, age, sexuality, and more.
• Learn what visual cues can help counter those bias — clothing, facial expressions, and more.

Closing Thoughts

Now that we are at the end, let’s recap the Vocal cues.

There are Vocal cues per se

But also Verbal cues — how you speak:

• Openers
• Closers
• Presentations
• Icebreakers
• Compliments

And last but not least, the imagery you induce to your listener and/or reader:

• Fonts
• Images that inspire
• Your nonverbal brand
• Colours
• Unconscious bias

If you combine all these with nonverbal cues, you will be well on your way embrace charisma. And remember

Charisma = Warmth + Competence

Different situations call for a greater emphasis on warmth or competence. Meet your audience’s energy to maximise your impact!